My funny (not say ridiculous) take on vampires :> I hope you enjoy this silly tale as I write it.
Aliae clasped her legs on the sides of a resistant horse. The horse stood like a stone, snorting from time to time and throwing his head from side to side, as if he was mocking the girl. A mean beast. Actually, it was not her horse. But the fact that she had just stolen him from the mayor’s stable, had nothing to do with it. The thing was, horses didn’t like holding vampires on their backs.
Change into a bat and fly by yourself! Aliae heard something in her head that was the horse’s simplified thoughts. Abstraction of animal thoughts was available for every vampire, and certainly for as old as Aliae.
“Does everyone still think that vampires change into bats?” the girl groaned. “I thought that these superstitions died together with the entry of the law on equality of races!”
I am a horse. I do not deal with politics.
“Political subversive,” Aliae hissed. “You will see, Emperor Madduma will do with you what he did with his horse, he will make you vote in the small council.”
The horse snorted, turned the rump, threw himself violently, and Aliae landed on the ground.
“Okay,” she said, approaching her horse. “We will do it this way, you will take me to Amphilada, and I will take you to my residence, where honey and food flow.”
The horse thought a little, finally nodded almost imperceptibly. The vampire jumped quickly onto his back, tensed her legs on horse’s sides again, and the mean beast galloped.
Just in time, because the mayor’s people were close, you could already see the jaws of the forks and the torchlight.
“Run, horse, run!” Aliae laughed cheerfully. She always loved horse riding, and the horse’s reluctance to do it didn’t bother her. Especially that the animals didn’t react on vampires charm, so she has no word to say in that.
Sit and do not talk, the horse seemed to think.
“Boring animal,” said the vampire, her long black silky hair floated around her face.
The bunch who chased her, was very close. Her horse was definitely too slow, and the armed ones had mounts that were suitable for chases. Probably the horses were often stolen from the mayor.
The vampire was pushing the horse as fast as she could, entering his mind to show him her hopeless situation, but it did n’t help. Her horse was weak and slow.
When Aliae knew she would not escape them, she stopped the horse, who at once started laughing in her head, and jumped off the back of the animal, standing between the trees in a challenging pose. Even if they capture ner, they will not catch her begging for mercy.
The armed men also stopped, some of them had wary pegs attached to their belt, and each left hand which one should always hammer in the peg into the heart of the vampure, fluttered around the weapon.
“I am just passing by” smiled Aliae, exposing her long, sharp fangs, entirely.
“Yes, vampire, and the horse is also passing through,” the captain of the guard said firmly. He didn’t have a sword. Everyone knew that vampires can be killed only by peg, sun and beheading.
“Possibly, I do not know him, it’s a one-night date.”
“You are a felony and I am on the verge of whether you are a pook, an elf or a vampire. You will go to court, voluntarily or under duress.”
“Well, and the date promised to be so charming.”
“Date?” the captain’s eyes blinked slightly.
“With a horse. It’s a starry night, do you hear the wind between the branches?… you can join in and we can spend a nice time together, of course, at dawn you’ll be unconscious, and I will be in the Eternal Night zone.”
“Take her already, because I cannot listen to these stupid things anymore,” the captain hissed. “If the mayor is kind, we will only tear off your fangs. If not …”
Aliae put her hand in a place where her two hearts were beating.
“With joy, I will pass through all the torment forsuch a wonderful persona, as the mayor of think hole in the ground called city”.
“Take her. Take her and bind her, already!”
The guards seized Aliae by the shoulders and hands, fixing them and putting on the tethers.
“But you will not give me onion soup in jail, right? I hate onion.”
“No,” the captain grinned. “There will be only garlic.”